Completely Safe and Dependable

  • No need to worry about limited availability. I don’t wanna brag… but PC slots can sell out months in advance. You are guaranteed a slot every consecutive month.

  • You are completely protected from any future price increase while using Hamster Havoc.

  • You can sleep soundly knowing that Hamster Havoc is on your side… They’re an expert in karate, turn women into a puddle with a single glance, and is very, very cute.

I’ll Live in your Pocket

  • I’m available via text from 9am - 11pm Eastern time 7 days a week.

  • I’ll respond at least once every 3 hours for up to 15 minutes at a time.

Utmost Convenience

  • I’ll help you with what to say.

  • I’ll write your DMs for you if you prefer, or edit them if you want to practice your newfound skills.

  • I’ll answer your questions, read through your DMs, and walk you through the scary minefield of corresponding with the person you wanna bang.

This is a limited availability service and is booked through email instead of my website.

3+ consecutive months for $1100 per month

 

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Whole Shebang

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Chloe On-Call

An easy way to get immediate feedback and assistance. This is a text-based service that can be used while taking photos, in a dressing room, etc.

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