Completely Safe and Dependable
No need to worry about limited availability. I don’t wanna brag… but PC slots can sell out months in advance. You are guaranteed a slot every consecutive month.
You are completely protected from any future price increase while using Hamster Havoc.
You can sleep soundly knowing that Hamster Havoc is on your side… They’re an expert in karate, turn women into a puddle with a single glance, and is very, very cute.
I’ll Live in your Pocket
I’m available via text from 9am - 11pm Eastern time 7 days a week.
I’ll respond at least once every 3 hours for up to 15 minutes at a time.
Utmost Convenience
I’ll help you with what to say.
I’ll write your DMs for you if you prefer, or edit them if you want to practice your newfound skills.
I’ll answer your questions, read through your DMs, and walk you through the scary minefield of corresponding with the person you wanna bang.
This is a limited availability service and is booked through email instead of my website.
3+ consecutive months for $1100 per month
Related Services
DMs to Dates
A 1 hour workshop on initial messages, conversing with your matches, and getting off of the app and onto a date.
One-on-One Coaching
A 1 hour call for private coaching. Dates, dating, relationships, breakups, or (almost) any other topic you’d like to cover.
Whole Shebang
Combines the Profile Overhaul and DMs to Dates into one session at a reduced rate. It’s my most popular appointment and covers just about everything you need to know!
Chloe On-Call
An easy way to get immediate feedback and assistance. This is a text-based service that can be used while taking photos, in a dressing room, etc.